"Just Me and My Mind”

"Just Me and my Mind”

Every...now and then I find myself staring on...
...My hollow soul, my aching heart...
I try to say, it will rekindle all my dying thoughts.
As time doesn’t wait, I crash and test my limits to my faith...
I have never been so weak, yet so strong.
I convinced myself that nothing can go further wrong.
I talk and argue with my alter self....
Without you how will I live... Without you how will I die...
Promises made without a thought,
Now come to haunt me for all my very salt.
A two face monster I have become.....
In the day, I oscar my way...to the funniest man alive.
I trick and treat my fellow friends.
Smiling and dancing with every scene.
They say, “Wish they were just as happy....as the boy with the thousand smiles”.
I sulk within for the pain I bare.
Like a empty patient I wander and stare
... For silent death is better than one that rots from within your soul!

In the night I come undone... it’s not so much fun.....
There is puke on my pant and smoke in my lungs...
I can’t contemplate what I have truly become...!
I fool myself and keeping my mind & heart pre-occupied.
I talk non stop and try to bring another a little joy.
I am strong and I’m good. I will rule the world for that is what I should.

Then why today my bleeding heart can't even see this very loss.
A one time contract to live and die ...,for good or for worse,
Through sickness and for health,Through distance or through time.
I have to stand by.Stand by thee.
A last hope, she will one day smile and I will bounce back as I always did.
I will have to be strong and carry her till my kingdom comes.
A new meaning with an old cause. I will not quit….I shall fight on.

BY Shiv on 31/11/2006 dedicated to the woman who made me strong
Copyright(c)2007 Shivraj Rajaram