Sunday, July 29, 2007

The Best Mistake my Parent's ever did... My little sister

She......
Is my eternal dairy, a childhood I can never lose?
She is My Little Sister!
The pride of the family and the solace of my home.
She now hopes to make it on her own.

....A transition from child to thee...
.... Some memories quickly flash by me….
.... She eating mud some where around two
.... Those teary eyes I cause for something new....
....Those endless fights I remember not why...
End of the day….She tolerated it all....even me.

Yes at last my little flower made this choice
To end her single run & be born again as a fresh rose

An impossible feeling of love is in the air… today...

Now here I am giving her away.
Ushering my dear slowly into her new domain.
The silent quest ends here...into this bind of love.
An exciting new world with this new member.
I finally shepard her to the man who I will soon call my brother.
A weird feeling as my little baby looks on to another.
I quiver a little and sigh; She so is beautiful, just like my mother.

As I took her tiny hand and gave it onto his.
His gentle eyes spoke ... “I needn’t worry”.
It was all going to be bliss I told my self...still unsure....

Standing around the sanctity of this holy fire...
Them exchanging the rings of romance...
And the chains of commitments

I sail through across the chant and burning incense.
And I notice only her & her smile that said it all....

Touch wood & God Bless !


Copyright(c) 2007 Shivraj Rajaram

Thursday, July 26, 2007

FUNERAL IN SMOKES


Saying Goodbye my dearest mate;
Its hard to taste this sorrow of your fate,
This final dance on this final date,
Remembering the old times of debate.

How I knew you would comfort me so,
How I felt your warmth in the horrid snow,
How you would accompany me for a drink,
How you would help me ponder and think.

Its truly sad my lover, my friend;
You've been with me through thick and thin.

I wish to let you know,
You've been there when I was alone,
You were there with me late after work,
You were like the only thing that never let go.

I know you made me many friends,
Even though you never got along with all of them.
Some time I even noticed the stranger's stares.
But I thank you dear for those frustrating days,
For that silence on those far away stays.

And today I choose to kill it all,
End your mesmerizing bind on me,
And choose to throw you in the tarred towel,
I surely will miss thee…

Oh wretched killer of man,
Or the sinful curiosity of a teen,
No matter what they call you,
You've been good to me,

But I don't intend to be devoured like the very rest.

Its time to quit, no looking back,
Fair well my white smoke and golden butt,

Fair well my cigarette!

Copyright(c)2007 Shivraj Amin

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Call It Home...

Behold, it comes out of sight,
The thought that is conceived in a spark,
The sun that is born in the dark,
The broken shades of a thousand lights.

It is word that never spoke,
And grief never felt,
A fragrance never smelt,
A mortality never in a choke.

It is joy within sorrow,
It is a mortality on a borrow,
It is a figment that we follow,
It is a today within tomorrow,.

It is music for the deaf;
A patient wait of a sailor coming home;
A word written on sand or stone;
Or a path traced by the flow of a leaf

It is a calm from with in.

It is a heart that never felt alone,
A tribute to the fallen ones,
And the lyrics of the ancient songs,
It is found again in secret unknown.

It is a birth between two deaths,
A pause before your first kiss,
The void in space and bliss,
Only to be held with in breaths.


A bird flying high into the heavens,
A birthday candle waiting for it's blow,
A man in prayer dropping his bow,
A Goal finding us in common.


I seek Home!
Isn't that what the journey is all about?


Copyright(c)2007 Shivraj Amin

Thursday, July 19, 2007

The mirror then and mirror now.


It was then when I had peeked upon the shiny stone,
I found a barren land and silent tone!

It was then when I pursed my lips,
I tried to trace the craters of the moon!

It was then when I gaped open my mouth,
I fell into a volcano deeper than the one on Olympus!

It was then when I touched my failing face,
I felt the course abrasive nature of my beard!

It was then when I glanced upon my eyes,
I lost my self in the ghostly land of the souls!

All that changed in time,

It is now when I peak upon the same shiny stone,
I found myself in the springs and the dunes!

It is now when I purse my lips,
I find raspberry tarts and candy sticks!

It is now when I agape my mouth,
I fall into a constant shower of lovely words!

It is now when I touch my flaunting face,
I feel smooth baby skin and grace!

It is now when I glance upon my eyes,
I lose myself in kindness and smiles!

The mirror of Now and The mirror of Then,
The same human being in a different time span!


Copyright(c) 2007 Shivraj Rajaram

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Poetic license

Born in a new world of super scholars, Self-proclaimed to be - the never wrong. Preaching as if it was all there own, Following the codes of a free thinker of another time and zone. These demented fools assume too much, To self assign themselves as Gurujis! My visions are clear, I need no intoxicant. I do everything in complete intent. I don’t need another's style, I don’t want to be told how to? I rather fall again and again, Bumping around till I make my ground. The abstract nature of my mind Keeping it cryptic to seek and find I twist in a contradiction to make a plot Deceiving all in reason ...that is not No rules are needed to govern my soul... I don’t need you to tell me that I’m a crazy fool! I won’t use an exotic word to have a fight, I don’t even care if I was ever right. I am the master and the slave to my own soul, No one owns it... it’s a world not defined Filling the blanks to the answer of the unknown; That’s how we learn all we want to know. Listen, my friend... you can have a say! Don’t worry a bit; we all can walk in the Grey. I’ll decide when to run and when to stop Don’t take my word too literally I’m no child of a Holy Ghost. I’m no saint or Demon Lord. I'm not a bigot of Your Humanity. If just a man.. Seeking Within... Till... I have... Thoughts untamed and motives raw. Virgin borders and untouched by laws. I may not be a cure for this mental disease... But I may be the placebo to bring in a release.



copyright©2007 Shivraj Rajaram

Cross-Road

Perplex in this world of unlimited desire,
We seek answers of what will transpire.

In this difficult and complex set of circumstances,
Confusion looms on the course of all acceptances.

How is one to choose the right path?
Or one, just lie there on the cross road choosing not?

This known moral question in life,
A forced notion to seek a certain type.

In this burdened world we walk into the dark.,
Thinking we make the routes as we go along.

Some are acts of your own doing;
Other, being reactions of an outcome.

A cocktail of action and reaction blending in a bowl
How we think, we have done the best of all.

But then again,

May be there are no choices, no dilemma,
We just walk ignorant into what is already written.

Copyright(c)2007 Shivraj Rajaram

Ride with Yama

Half awake in my lucid dream,
I walked across to my window pale;
Dogs hauling loud with agonizing screams,
I hurry up in tying my illusive lace.

I jog below to be held by a noose,
Yanked up behind someone mighty as Zeus.
I sketched along his back in the dark,
Only to find green and red sparks.

I wasn't afraid , I was naively being me.
I poked him questions one after another.
Even though he seem busy with his scrolls.
A million names and thousand sheets,
This Job is only getting harder day by day.

I very well knew he needed a data processor,
then I looked below on his steed,
asked if he was willing to exchange his transport
for something more up to date and speed.

He shoved me down from what was not a horse,
Then he grunted a sound, as if it was all my fault.

I stood up to be told, "My time wasn't up"!
Then I started to ponder if there was any creature he would miss?

I was kicked hard by this very beast,
Almost mocking me with his gory grin.

It had read my mind, this buffalo would live on ....immortal,
That is only if "It" can keep it's job for ever,

Err....Until now It has done just that!

An Angels Conspiracy



Listening to the omens...
They whisper from the wind or the shuffle of the pouring rain.
Through a wrinkle old ladies smile or your neighbor’s dog barking wild...


It could even be waking up for a drink of water...
Returning to find, haunting sounds of the window shattered all over your unseen shrine.
Its may just be a failure of design, But then again could it be all divine.

Is it someone else's prayer watching over you...?
Is it an angel sent by a friend, nudging you through your hardest times?
It’s like an envelope of prayers protecting your every move!

Some time it’s even tougher, like a bird which leaves its nest hungry,
so that the little one can learn to fly....
It’s like reading a foreign book not understanding a word...

But -The omens are out there telling, sometimes even screaming it out...
Good or bad... most of us fail to see or understand...
God speaks through these angels, or these random acts...
They let you know when you might be getting into trouble
Or a moment you supposed to hold on, just a little more.

Ever felt like, you bump into old Friends not knowing ...why?
You took an alternate route... Then you think again ...why?
Even a loved one lost at certain point, is it just to make you what you are?

The angels are conspiring to make you what you are born to be

If you listen well, you won’t rust or turn to dust...
You will just evolve into something more beautiful and just...

A purpose, a goal...a larger cause...?
Have you thought may be all your life was to actually show a lost one his way?

All of us do make it ... we just die not knowing we did so...
.
Sssh... Listen...now...!
It’s all an angel's conspiracy!!!

Field of Blood

I had a dream while still awake,
I saw a man ragged and fake.
Times were old, Hebrew spoke.

The man screamed out,
They will try to kill the king today.

Pointing at me, He said....
You have to tell my story.

I am but One of the Twelve
But more so will be remembered for my betrayal
30 silver coins is the price you see,
But I have given more for my might lord thee.
You will not see my hidden sacrifice
That the lord has asked of me.

I know it is something cruel.
But with out this
HE will not be able to save Humanity.

Sins have to be washed and cleanse for all.
I will die before my master has gone,

The Son of GOD, will live on Forever
And I... will be known as
"The Hanging Man Judas"

Pantheist Twins


There were two twins.
Both born from the same holy fire
But One ... life by example,
while the other by burning desire.

Both wanted to please...
...please their dearest father...

How they awed his creation from the soil.
Every time a better... in a better style!

All the twins thought,
Was to make the best of the lot.


Both same in talent,
Yet rules different.
One copied... the other.
Trying not to miss a thing.
Only surpassing the other in form.

And when their father said.
“Tomorrow we shall rest and watch all things grow”.

The twin rummaged in a hurry to surprise there dearest daddy
With there final show!

I’m not sure… if it was Gabriel or Lucifer,
But one came with Adam,
the other with Eve!

Or... So the Story Goes!!!!!!



Story from Eden


From the ribs of curiosity,
One newer version evoked.
She glared and spoke differently.
A charm I couldn’t describe.
Delightfully delicate
Thoughtfully complex

A face made of snow
Skin softer than flower blooms
Alive… erratic…
Yet Calm… romantic…
Mesmerizing wild

She spoke in codes not saying straight
She wanted nothing …yet everything sought

The first thing she asked from me
Was the only thing I couldn’t touch!

But I had a funny feeling and
I bit the apple first!

The Journey With In


When all is dark and you cannot see.
The voices in your head just... scream,
Convincing that broken mind to quiver & quit.

Eternity it may feel like,
To be trapped within these walls of self abuse.
To be gripped in the fear of never being understood.

A pathetic excuse of your existence,
To waste your time in seeking.. Why?
Don’t search for the light in the end of the hole.
Seek within and become whole.

No real answer will come asking blind fools
Don’t take no for an answer, grow your core!
Search for the strength inside your soul,
Nothing will stop you when you find that zone

Remove all barriers stunning your growth,
Take the blessing of your old,
When it gets unbearable,
And you are about to fall.
You will defy everything,
And stand titan tall!

That is when you become the Sun,
Lighting up not just you
But …. One & all.

God's Greatest Con ~ the Devil!

I wonder why?
The loyal,
The ideal,
The best,
The most loved of all.

Why...?
Would one like you go so astray?
Why would you push your master far away?

Then I ponder on it from the core,
Logically, Curiously, Theologically,
Then a tad bit more

No revelation, No Dream,
No vision, No Scream…

Just as a smack on my face,
I was put in place...
...By blasphemy!

All being are with purpose & reason...

OH MIGHT LORD,
How could "YOU" not see treason?

Now here is a thought,
No evil, No suffering, No pain!
Would you my friends say God's name?
Who will it be to test your faith?
God greatest student,
The one who sacrifices even his stake.

Provoking and tempting us… To his very best
Taking all the blame… without a rest

The Greatest Con it is,
Without the devil,
Who would check us?


copyright(c)2007 shivraj rajaram

Eternal Desire



Ssh …
… Close those blinds... and burn the candle light...
I want to make this fantasy further right
I waited too long...for this passionate night
Don’t stop me now... don’t put up a fight...

This carnal desire inside me…will not slow.
I want to proceed… I want to further grow.
I want to be possessed by you..
..making me sweat profusely in every show.

I want your every breath shared with mine
I want that heavenly touch completely inter twined..
I want to shiver as you run your palm across my face..
I want your warm body holding me to my place...

Defuse my head and kick starting my heart.
I want u to burn through me like a dry tequila shot.
I want to melt you heart to quench my throat.

Like a hundred dying men
I shall wait for those luscious lips to collide with mine..
…making me the only one... the true envy of time.

I want my pulse to race as I untie your hair...
As it fall across your shoulders and on my chest bare.

I want you to entice me to lead this holy quest...
Bind me in a spell with mesmerizing eyes and magic hips..
I want to worship you till the point of no return...

Drugged in a trance like state I would go to very unknown
Running my tongue…accompanied with my lips to every inch.
Starting with your face... those eyes, ears… lips to cheeks...
From finger tips to shoulder blades and further more
Down your spine... those roaring hips and those gentle toes..
I'd like to go on till I conquer you all
Leaving no spot unturned, touch every thing big or small

Do you want me to stop... do you want me to go...
I don’t intend to listen….
...I am the Teaser of the mind ...& The Pirate of your Soul.

Copyright©2007 Shivraj Rajaram

All In All

Do you think you seen it all.
Blind you choose… knowing all.

Look this world of yours through our fading eyes
Think for once of our plight
No tear will run, No moisture left within
No strength to raise our arm.
No voice to speak of our harm

All the things you take for granted
Is what kills us in the scorching heat
Not television, not education,
Not gold or luxury cars.
Just a bite to eat is all we ask.
Help us to live,
Where are those kind angels promised upon?

Food you throw would feed a lot of souls.
The shower you take could quench a lot of us.
The clothes you wear branded and all.
We just need a slipper to not burn our sole.

You fight with your sibling with a toy car or doll.
Then you hate your parents for not side you at all.
Think of a mother choosing which child to help
While the other would dies on her lap tonight

All in all
We are in a wicked world
Where the rich are rich
And the poor are poor.
Survival of the fittest
Is that really so?

Don’t you shun away....I hope you see so...
We may die, but don’t you say... you never knew...
How we were left to be exterminated
All in All

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Seeking Salvation


Seeking Salvation

Savage times …
How did it begin?
How did it all go so wrong…?

…Just ask me again ? I'll give it all?
Paid full in advance … A life time’s price,
Do you think it as a selfish sacrifice...?

Through the fields of fire…I fought and fought...
My flesh failing but my heart urged strong!

Shackles of society and work weighing hard,
I could hear your distant cheer,
Until echoes faded into the unknown,
And I lost out... that too... on my final run…

Then glorious love diluted into this ablution of agony,
Gods also forsook knowing well I‘d suffer for it.

Now,
This selfless act, suddenly deemed unworthy?
I’m alone; I’m hurt and losing sleep...
I’m falling …and falling deep...

Oh,
Baptized by the tears I have shed.
I confessed to even the maker of my loss.
Yet no redemption, no resolve...
Time in penance for another,
Where is the justice!

What is it that makes me love you so very much?
I am on my knees… I hate it all….
Now in the hallow whistle of a silence,
Broken dreams consumed by darkness.

Strange manifestation of my own reflection,
Snatching screams of salvation.

I hate this,
Sad excuse of a stranger I once knew,

Lord, where will my retribution be...?



Copyright©2007 Shivraj Rajaram