I, THE THIEF ON THE LEFT
I awake from my thunderous thrash.
My hands and feet soaked in blood,
I didn't remember much.
Numb this body was,
From all that had happened;
I saw a horde of people,
All waiting to watch us die.
There were three of us that day.
One,
My partner in my crime;
Another,
A Man I never saw till that time.
Tables get ugly for this Man in between…
...The head priest came and spat on him…
...Followed by soldiers whipping him sore.
Everyone mocked this Man, called him “The fragile fool”!
They teased Him to get up and about,
Or show them if He could speak or shout.
My partner goes along with the chanting crowd,
So I think to myself... if I were to follow suit,
I might just be able to get off the hook.
I open my mouth to throw a curse,
Only to gasp in horror of a shameful truce
When I saw this Man again,
I felt Him reading my mind.
A circlet of thorns was jabbed into His crown…
…looking through His locks, a face covered in blood.
I saw more than just His eyes
And I shuddered under my dying breath,
"Forgive me Lord,
Oh Messiah,Son of God! "
Copyright(c)2007 Shivraj Rajaram
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6 comments:
great piece of wrk.
Sheer artistry..
this is somethin different. for me :p i guess the way u meant it, it could hav been great even without jesus's context.. but it sort of gets substance and what do u call it... importance? because of dis big well known crucifixion. interesting perspective from the left!!! heehee
keep it up
You know what i thought of? The theif who was beaten black and blue by police, very recently. Remember that one?
I liked this for its simplicity. I noticed something You tend to write in first person. Try changing that. It can bring loads of freshness into the narration.
:)
:)
very well written shiv! njoyed de read!
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